


Idol Test

by i_Puddin



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Gen, Humor, Idols, Lie Detector Machine, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 11:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11622618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_Puddin/pseuds/i_Puddin
Summary: Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongdae, Byun Baekhyun, Oh Sehun, and a Lie Detector Machine. No one said becoming an idol was easy.





	Idol Test

A man with high collared clothing stood at the door, seemingly intimidating at first glance. At second look, he had a small pink plush stuffed into his black jean’s pocket.

“Are you gentlemen ready?”

Chen’s eyebrow jumped at the man’s croak tone. “Of course, we’d do anything to continue being idols.”

“Anything?”

As skeptical as it sounds, Chen was serious.

Baekhyun smacked the other vocal’s arm, and harshly whispered. “Moron, what you do you mean ‘anything’? What if he wanted to sell us off as strippers!”

China-line’s vocal rolled his eyes, adjusting his specs that fell on his nose. “I thought being a stripper was your dream job.”

“I was in eighth grade. And I was really stupid at that time. It was when puberty went crazy on me, and I think it hated me.”

Sehun grinned cheekily. “I know, hyung. By the way you turned out.”

Baekhyun growled at him.

The man cleared his throat. “Gentlemen, please cease your foolishness. Step inside.”

Chanyeol was slightly taken back at the change of the man’s tone, it went from raspy to adenoidal in less than two seconds.

The door was dense by the color of the wood, the rough door knob wiggled to the smallest movement. Sehun really believed it was going to just fall off from any support.

The intensity when the man slowly opened the door, almost too nonchalantly, was dramatic. It was like he was using the wind the glide his movements. Chen swore he heard ghostly faint climatic sound effects.

“Hello, boys.” an older woman greeted them nicely, a supple hint of professionalism.

The males bowed respectfully at their inspector.

“Please have a seat.”

She gestured them to the four seats equally separated from each other and a half arm lengths apart. Baekhyun immediately knew the wooden chair was going to make his bottom ache with itchiness.

There was no window nor anything that can let sunlight through. It was a total airtight room with limited space.

The men quietly seated themselves on the old chairs, they fear their weight would not be supported by the squeakiness they heard.

The inspector studied them closely, her hawk eyes were trained to see fidgety and uneasiness. She saw nothing but foolishness as the four grown males conversation with each other on wherever they left off.

“Let’s not waste time, gentlemen. This is a Lie Detector Machine; if you fail, you will be banned from being an idol until further notice.” she began, making the four curious cats watch the machine turn on and warm up.

“I got nothing to hide.”

Sehun nodded at Chen’s claim.”Me too. Besides the fact that I ate two bars of chocolate when I’m not supposed to.”

“No wonder manager-hyung looked like he was going to murder you.” Baekhyun clearly did not expect that.

The woman grounded her teeth. “Enough. We will begin now.”

She pointed at the equipments at the side of each machine on the long table. “Strap them on your arm, and clip them on your finger.”

They obediently did as they were told, they were confident that they could pass with flying colors. There was no secret between any of the members.

“You may not talk unless to be answered. You may not ask questions, and you may not think about the answers. Answer truthfully and we will not have a problem. It will go relatively quick if you gentlemen cooperate.”

They nodded simultaneously.

“Good. Question one. What is your name.”

“Park Chanyeol.”

“Byun Baekhyun.”

“Kim Jongdae.”

“Oh Sehun.”

The woman frowned. “Please do not speak unnecessary words.”

“But it’s my full—” Sehun tried to explain.

“Silence.” she hushed him.

“Question two, have you done anything illegal.”

“No.”

“Nah.”

“Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

“Not that I know of.”

Everything well well during the fifteen minute interview, they quickly went by the common sense questions. Nothing was out of the ordinary until a particular question shot out. No warning, no hints, nothing.

“When was the last time you had intimacy.”

The only thing the woman saw was four handsome men and the amount of unsanitary spits in the compacted space. She noted to take at lease a dozen of showers and quit the job before she catches anything.

“Never!”

“No way!”

“No!”

“Hell no!”

The machines harmoniously made a noticeable noise and the color red flashed several times.

“What the hell!” Chen gaped.

Chanyeol’s large eyes couldn’t get anymore bigger. “That’s impossible!”

“It must be broken.” a denial Baekhyun is very stubborn.

“Yeah, it has to be.” Sehun swallowed.

The inspector glared. “I will ask once more, when was the last time you had intimacy.”

Chanyeol blushed heavily. “I told you, I’ve never—”

Red flashed again.

Chen’s heart pounded thickly as his forehead began to sweat. “Neither have I.”

Another flash of red.

“It’s either you be honest with me or you can kiss your idol career goodbye.”

“It’s the truth, though!” Baekhyun protested.

Also, another flash of red.

“My god.” Sehun breathed, his hands dug into his hair and softly pulled his hair.

“The truth is all over social media. EXO has the most intimacy than other idols in history.” she explained.

“That’s so not true! It’s only Sehun and Tao!” Chanyeol flatly spilled.

Sehun cracked abruptly in vengeance. “I saw that hand on Jongin’s thigh, Chanyeol-hyung! Don’t think anyone wouldn’t notice! You touch him so much that your crush was leaking!”

“What!”

“What do you mean ‘what’—” the impolite maknae blinked.

“Chanyeol! I’m divorcing you!”

_“We’re not even dating, Dumbaek!”_

**Author's Note:**

> Oh dear, another one of these attempted humor on my part.


End file.
